Sick of Being Pregnant?
Sep 11, 2020
You often hear how morning sickness is rough, having your insides cramped due to lack of space is rough...but not many people talk about how challenging it can be to be patient in those last weeks of pregnancy. Especially if you go past your guess date. Sometimes you're just freakin' sick of being pregnant!
Maybe it's because you're tired of getting up a million times at night to pee. Maybe it's because you can't get comfortable enough to get a good night's sleep. Maybe you are just super anxious to meet your baby! Maybe you desperately want to be able to eat a full meal or take a fuller breath.
Whatever the reason, we're here to guide you through how to be patient, how to make the most out of those last few weeks when you really just don't want to be pregnant anymore!
1. The first thing you've got to have is a clear understanding of due dates and how they work. If you don't understand how due dates work, you're inevitably going to be far more impatient. The best way to determine a due date is off of an ultrasound done between 11 and 14 weeks. Not every baby is suddenly past due the minute the calendar strikes 40 weeks! Some babies need a little bit longer in utero and this makes sense since every baby is different, every pregnancy is different. It doesn't make sense to say that all babies are past due at 40 weeks. In fact, the average for first-time moms is 41 weeks and 1 day.
2. Second, you need to manage your own expectations. Disregard the notion that each baby you have will come earlier & earlier. This is just setting yourself up for disappointment! Speaking from personal experience, my 3rd baby came at 40 weeks, but my first two babies came at 39 & 38 weeks respectively. Had I not been expecting baby #3 to arrive early, I probably would've had an easier time being patient!
Along those same lines, just because your mom and sisters all had their babies early doesn't mean that YOU will! That's another false notion to disregard.
3. Next, it helps to be patient when you understand the risks of trying to force your baby to come early and the corresponding benefits to letting them pick their birthday. It's always a bit odd to see 6 and 7 lb babies in the NICU, and sometimes they can end up there if labor was induced simply because the provider suggested it or mom was sick of being pregnant. These babies were clearly not quite ready to be born! Induction carries a higher risk of medical interventions, including cesarean birth.
4. Now, take ALL this info we just gave you ^^ and educate your friends and family! Do you have people who are going to be texting you at 40 weeks asking when baby will arrive? Getting texts like that when you are already sick of being pregnant can be frustrating. So let them know how due dates work and that your baby is perfectly healthy just because they go past that estimated date!
5. If you don't want to be getting incessant texts asking about when baby will arrive, tell them your expectation for communication. Here are some examples:
- "Please don't send me texts asking about when baby will arrive. I promise we'll let you know as soon as he's here."
- "Please direct any birth & baby questions to (husband). He'll be sure to give you updates so that I'm free to focus on getting ready." *Then feel free to mute or even block texts on your phone temporarily. If they can't get ahold of you, they are sure to contact your birth partner.
- Leave a voicemail that says, 'Hi! Baby isn't here yet. We promise, as soon as she is here, we will post waaaay too many photos." And then send all calls to voicemail.
- Be preemptive. Give people updates on social media, even if baby hasn't arrived.
- Don't tell people your actual estimated due date. Rather, give them a broader range of time. "Baby is due in April." This will prevent well-intentioned but potentially annoying family members who text you their concerns, daily, about baby going past their guess date. But hopefully you've done #4 and this won't be an issue!
6. Our BIGGEST tip for being patient those last few weeks of pregnancy is to give yourself something to look forward to each day. And we mean something genuinely awesome EVERY SINGLE DAY! Write each thing on your calendar, all the way up to 42 weeks! Maybe it's a massage, getting to purchase something off your Amazon wishlist, getting your nails done, hair done, watching a show you've been saving on Netflix, going out to eat, a fun day trip....whatever it is, it needs to be so good that a (however small) part of you would miss not getting to do that thing.
7. Because waiting patiently for baby to arrive is really a mental game, make sure you are immersed in your pregnancy affirmations. Give special attention to those affirmations that encourage you to trust your body, your baby, God's timing, and things that encourage patience. It's definitely easier to take care of your baby when they're inside of your body than outside. So that can be something encouraging to think about too.
9. Be sure to work through your emotions. Are there fears, uncertainty, or unresolved issues that could be preventing you from going into labor? Perhaps there are some things you need to say out loud? To your baby? If you're thinking, "I want this baby out" but subconsciously, you've got some stuff going on that you haven't worked through, those two feelings can actually be fighting each other.
Withing the My Essential Birth course we discuss communication and affirmations, journaling and meditation. Some of the downloadable meditations within the course help moms work through these feelings so that they can be in a really positive mental space to allow birth to begin naturally.
10. Finally, get involved in a community of other mamas! Watch as women are coming up to giving birth, let their joy be a distraction for you. And yes, it may be hard to wait your turn and perhaps even be the last person in your group to give birth, but we LOVE how encouraging the women are within our private MEB community. They will cheerlead and really help you feel peace of mind, and love and joy and appreciation for your body and everything that you're doing while you're waiting.
We promise, you will not be pregnant forever! A theme that you'll notice throughout fertility, throughout pregnancy, and throughout birth is patience. We expect patience on the part of our providers- that's a characteristic of a really great provider when they're willing to let birth unfold in a way that is natural, but also safe for you. So, if we're going to demand that of our providers, we have to be willing to show a little patience ourselves as well. We know you can be patient and we're cheering you on!
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