How to Take Charge of Your Birth with Kyleigh Banks from The Autonomy Mommy

doula support empower Oct 17, 2023

Show Notes:

[2:24] Our Reviewer of the Week, katekast425, said "Pregnant with my second baby and I’m on round 2 of binging every episode because I find them so educational and empowering! Anytime anyone tells me they are expecting I immediately suggest this podcast and birthing course because I know they made all the difference in my first labor." 💜

[3:09] Our guest this week is Kyleigh Banks, a mama, birth doula, creator of Autonomy Mommy, podcast Host of the Birthworker Podcast, and self-proclaimed birth nerd. She loves challenging anything status quo when it comes to birth. Anytime that there are good conversations regarding birth, the benefit is always that you guys who are listening get to take all of that in and do what you will with the information.

[5:05] Prior to getting pregnant, Kyleigh had never heard the word "doula" and heard it for the first time on a birth podcast on the Birth Hour. She knew that becoming a doula was everything she wanted when it came to helping women, being a mentor, and empowering people. She started her doula journey five years ago and is just as in love with the birth experience and helping women have empowered birth experiences now.

[7:33] What does an "autonomous birth" mean? Kyleigh defines it as "the ability to do whatever I want, empower myself to make decisions that feel good with myself without being influenced, without being coerced, and really standing true to what I want for myself." The foundation is that birth is a mindset game, and the more you can develop your autonomy prior to your birth, the better. Another part to the autonomy mix is being shameless in your desires and just knowing that you don't have to defend yourself to anybody.

[13:35] Kyleigh gives some advice for women who are more self-conscious about standing up for themselves. Start to stand up for yourself and just be shameless in doing whatever you want with the people you trust in your life is definitely where you have to start. If you are a pushover everyday life, that's how you are going to be when you give birth. 

[18:25] Intuition is a very real thing. How do you tune into it? How do you utilize it for labor and birth? Intuition is like a muscle! If it's not something that you have been working out every single day, multiple times per day, it's not going to be super easy to find it and to rely on it. Kyleigh talks about the whole body yes. You have your head, your heart, and your soul. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What is my head telling me?
  • What is my brain telling me?
  • Logically, is this making sense?
  • What is my heart telling me?
  • What does my heart feel when I'm thinking about the decisions I have to make?

[22:25] How important is birth course prep? The more you surround yourself with people with similar goals or people who have already done what you want to do, it's going to be way easier for you to get there way easier. Kyleigh absolutely recommends taking a childbirth education course to everyone. It's not just about the knowledge, but you could also learn how the birth experience works, what the stages of labor are, what your options are, pain coping, what is pain in the brain, and how mindset actually impacts your birth, intuition, and autonomy.

[27:54] Kyleigh talks about what "going with the flow" means to her in the birth space. It's a very empowered shift of "I will make a birth plan and I will be open to whatever comes up. I will learn all of the skills, I will learn all of my options, but I'm not going to hold on to them so tight that when something goes different that I've lost everything." 

[29:50] Stephanie asks what does it look like being able to say no for mamas during their birth experience. Bring up any questions you have beforehand! Don't let a red flag go by unaddressed. "If it touches my body, if it goes in my body, if it goes on my body, I am the boss." 

[31:32] Kyleigh walks us through how her doula business came into existence and what was important to her to have in her course. One of the first classes is self-mastery (self-development) or how to understand your own triggers and how to leave your baggage behind when you're attending birth. She goes into birth theory or what is going on when it comes to the birth process. She also teaches about supporting birth in all locations (home birth, birth center, hospital birth, free birth, water birth, cesarean, etc.)

[36:02] Her program is for the people who want this to be what they do for the next several decades and the people who really want to leave a legacy. Not only does she teach people how to grow an in-person doula business, but she also teaches people how to grow really successful online businesses

[40:24] You can find Kyleigh and her work here:

If you love birth work and you can’t help but see yourself in the birth space as a doula, you need to be at this FREE training with Kyleigh! 🎉

 Even if you are a touch curious if this could be for you, I want you to join us for this totally FREE LIVE training exclusively for My Essential Birth listeners by heading to to reserve your spot today! See you there! 👋🏼

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ALL the best,


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